Braving Boys

Joey, pre-sleepover

Surviving Joey’s first sleepover might have been harder for me than making it through his very day of school. Something about the overnight thing was really tough. I mean, I dropped him off last night at a friend’s “Guys Gathering” at 5:00 PM, and I didn’t see my 8-year-old boy again until 10:30 AM today, which means I was totally unable to monitor whatever it was he did for all those hours. I know he ate dinner, went to a movie, gobbled down cake, played on a tire swing — but how did he handle himself, was he happy the whole time, did he feel homesick at all? He reports that it was a blast, and he appears to have no complaints at all. He’d do it again, in fact, and he’d like to host his own party one day. The question is: Can I survive that, too?

Nutty for Nintendo DS

I’m thinking we might not actually speak to Joey and Danny all day today. Why? Because they each got their very own Nintendo DS, and they are completely plugged in. They are lost, gone, totally tuned out.

All year long, they’ve wanted these gadgets — they’ve been pretty sure they were the only boys in the world without them, actually — and while we went back and forth and at one time even vowed we would definitely. not. buy. them. (because once they get something electronic, it’s nearly impossible for their minds to focus elsewhere), we bit the bullet and bought them. We even plan to let them play their hearts out for a day or so (it is Christmas, after all). Then we’ll set some limits. We won’t tell them that today, though, because, honestly, I don’t even think they are capable of hearing right now.

Merry Christmas, Joey and Danny — and to all you loyal readers, too!

www.fordvehicles.com

Joey wants a Ford truck. A big one. Specifically, he’s got his eyes on a F350, crew cab, diesel, 4X4, dually, black, with a big silver thing on the front and well-equipped for pulling a pretty large boat. Why? I think it has something to do with the truck (and boat) his uncle got. But Joey doesn’t just want the F150 Uncle Jim has sitting in his driveway. Nope, he’s ramped things way up, ensuring that his prize will cost him an arm and a leg, plus a few other body parts. But that’s OK. He’s 8, and dreaming should be a part of every kid’s world.

www.fordvehicles.com

Six-year-old Danny is a dreamer, too. He sees in his future a brand new Mustang GT500. I know where this wish comes from — Dad is a huge Mustang fan. A 1970 was his very first car (bought with his very own money), and together, we had a 1998 GT, which we traded for a mini-van two months before Joey was born (that was a sad day: not the day Joey arrived, the day we said farewell to the car). Thanks to Uncle Jim, we have a Mustang again — the one he sold us to make room for the truck and the boat. It’s also a 1998, and while Danny does love it, he yearns for the Shelby.

We sure hope Joey and Danny can score the wheels they want when they grow up. In the meantime, we keep telling them what it will take to acquire the keys to their dream machines: good grades, good college educations, good jobs, a good amount of savings. Even then, it might be a stretch. But we won’t burst their bubbles just yet. Because who knows, if they have just the right amount of drive for just the right amount of time, they might get exactly what they want. And nothing would make us happier than sitting shotgun with our grown-up guys in their grown-up rides. Well, maybe we’d be pretty happy if they got us a dream car, too. We’ll take anything — except a mini-van.

Crazy boys, with crazy cousins

Two experts on the TODAY Show recently shared that most parents, when surveyed, say what they want most out of life is to raise healthy kids. And when 6,400 moms and dads were interviewed in one study, the following six practices emerged as key for raising better kids. Embrace each one, and your own offspring will be better behaved and less likely to engage in risky behaviors.

1. Have dinner with your kids at least five times per week. This is what matters most, not your work, not the stuff you’re buying, but actually sitting down and paying attention to your children. It’s not the food that matters, it’s the connection and strength of the family that comes from dining as a group. If you just can’t make it happen because you’re working two jobs to make ends meet, gather at an off time and have a snack together.
2. Take your kids to church or synagogue weekly. This will teach them that there’s something bigger out there, and they’ll learn a solid sense of respect.
3. Check your kids’ homework nightly. Intellectual development is just as import as physical development. The more you monitor, the better.
4. Demand the truth, and get it. Earn trust by becoming a hands-on and involved parent.
5. Take kids on vacation for at least a week at at time once per year. Leave your Blackberry at home.
6. Get your kids involved in team sports, but be careful. Research shows that some sports may increase incidences of drinking, smoking and violent behavior.

Joey, reading an age-appropriate chapter book

If I could take away my kids’ ability to read while in the grocery store, I would. Well, not while we’re shopping — I like that they can read while we’re strolling the aisles (Danny would be lost without a good nutritional label to analyze) — but if I could reverse their powers in the check-out lines, believe me, I’d do it, because what they’re learning from sensational magazine covers is resulting in some heavy-duty discussions I tend to think are better left for future ages.

Not long ago, 8-year-old Joey announced mid-line, “Adam Lambert is gay!” Followed by: “What is gay?”

I told him — right there in line, because he was hungry for an answer — that gay means boys fall in love with boys, and girls fall in love with girls.

“Can boys marry boys?” he asked.

At the time, yes, they could (in California, anyway), so I told him that. He was happy, and I think, mildly informed on a topic we’ll tackle in more detail one day in the future. Right after we talk about sex tapes, maybe.

Today, Joey declared, “Tiger has a sex tape!”

Here we go again.

“What’s that mean?” he inquired.

I told him Tiger has gotten into some trouble, and then I had to pay for my groceries. We continued our conversation in the car.

“What kind of trouble did Tiger get into?” Joey asked.

“Who is Tiger?” asked 6-year-old Danny.

“He’s a famous golfer,” explained big brother.

“But what kind of trouble, mom?” said Joey.

Here’s what I said:

“Tiger is married, and he has two kids, but he also had some girlfriends, and that is not OK. When you’re married to someone, that person must be your only person.” I told Joey that Tiger made some bad choices, and sadly, it is messing up other people’s lives. “That’s why it’s important to make good decisions in your life,” I told both guys.

We went on to talk about whether or not Tiger will get a divorce (I hope he does), and we unraveled the whole mystery of divorce for Danny (it’s when a marriage comes to an end). We also talked about whether it’s legal to do what Tiger did. A little bit of research tells me adultery is, in fact, mostly legal, meaning you won’t get arrested for it or anything, although it can have legal ramifications in property settlement, child custody and other matters. Adultery is just wrong. Really wrong. And that’s what I hope my boys learned from our chit-chat today.

What did I learn? To head straight for the kiddie check-out line next time, no matter how the long line is.

Oh, and Joey never did ask for me to define “sex tape.” Nor did Danny. Thank goodness for small blessings.

Danny

Danny is obsessed with numbers lately. Ages are big — “Mom, how old were you when I was 2?” he might ask. Or “Dad, how old will you be when I’m 19?” We’re trying to teach him that I’m 33 years older than him and that John is 35 years older. That way, he can answer his own questions. It’ll take some time, though — he’s only 6, after all.

The numbers on nutritional labels are another story — he’s way more interested in them, and he can pretty much compare, contrast and make important decisions all by himself. Case in point: Yesterday.

Danny came out of school yesterday afternoon and announced that he chose white milk instead of chocolate milk at lunch. “That’s great,” I told him. “White milk is healthier.” He agreed, schooling me on the fact that chocolate milk has 25 grams of sugar and 8 grams of protein, while white milk has 10 grams of sugar and 8 grams of protein. And that’s why he chose white over chocolate — it’s healthier.

I did a little fact checking just now, and sure enough, Danny was pretty right on. Check out chocolate milk here at The Daily Plate. And white milk here. The guy knows his stuff. And if he keeps making solid choices like the one he made today, I’m thinking he’ll live a long and healthy life.

And if he makes it to, say, 85, how old will I be?

Uugh.

Reindeer Boys, 2009

You haven’t been to a holiday cookie decorating party until you’ve been to the one our neighbors throw each year. WOW! They go all out. Kids get to write their names on hand-made jingle bell name tags, they each get a box filled with plain sugar cookies, gingerbread men and red, green and white individually-packaged frosting with stick for spreading. On the festive tables set up in our neighborhood clubhouse are more tools for sprucing up cookies — sprinkles, red hots, candies, tubes of gel for writing and more — oh, pretzels, too, because, of course, you’ve got to have something salty with your sweets (and let me tell you, pretzels dipped in frosting is mighty good). The kiddos are also served drinks (coffee and water for parents), and can hang out at coloring tables, too — that’s where the reindeer glasses were found by my two guys, pictured above. And their two cousins, pictured below.

Reindeer Girls, 2009

Aren’t they cute? And aren’t our neighbors so kind to put forth such effort for the little people in their lives? We think so — and we are so thankful to have been invited. Thanks Jenn, Glenn, grandparents and everyone else who makes this annual extravaganza happen.

Big kid on a little playground

I went on a field trip today with Joey’s third grade class. And I had fun — I can’t say I’ve totally enjoyed many past class excursions, because work was always hanging over my head. I’d end up consumed by the tasks awaiting me at home, I’d see e-mails and text messages stacking up on my phone, I’d basically feel guilty for skipping out on work and guilty for not offering my full and undivided attention to my child.

But today, in all of my unemployed glory, there was nothing  I needed to do except join a bunch of excited kids at the Thomas Center for a tour, a picnic-style lunch on the floor of this nearly 100-year-old historical building (once a family home, then hotel, then site of Santa Fe Jr. College) and watch in the freezing cold as kiddos ran wild on a nearby playground.

Life since quitting my job is a bit more budgeted — not many out-to-eats and most frivolous purchases have been nixed — but for all the pennies we are pinching, I must say I feel quite rich, because the time I have available for enjoying all of life is so much more abundant. And so what if Joey thinks our adventure this morning was “boring” — I liked it, we learned something, we were together and by golly, I was present — not just in body, but in spirit, too. And in my little corner of the world, that is a really big deal.

Happy Holidays 2009!

I love Christmas. Really, I do. I mean, I’ve strung white snowflake twinkly lights and red bows on the front of our house and fashioned a pretty festive tree in our living room. Santas, stockings, a light-up little holiday house and all sorts of seasonal trinkets are scattered here, there and everywhere. My gifts are bought (and wrapped) and I’m even planning to donate blankets to a homeless shelter this year. What I won’t be doing this fine December: Mailing out holiday cards. I know I’ve done it for something like eight years, and yes, it’s kind of a tradition and all, but I’m opting out this time around. For those of you who are crushed that you won’t be receiving a glossy update of Joey and Danny, I apologize, and I offer you this digital version of my 2009 guys. Want more? There’s plenty of family moments captured on this blog (and this one, too).

Go ahead, call me lame, cheap, bah humbug, whatever. Just don’t call me a party pooper, because I really do wish you the grandest holiday ever. I’m just not dumping a lot of cash into prints, envelopes and stamps (I’m unemployed, remember!) so that the majority of you can toss the greeting in the trash (come on, you know you do!). I’m also not wrangling my kiddos into the perfect pose (this one took one point and click) and spending hours prepping a mass mailing. I’m just not. And I’m totally OK with it — I don’t actually feel like a slacker at all, which is quite an accomplishment for a Type A girl.

If you’re not convinced this is the way to spread cheer, think about it this way: No clutter on your kitchen counter, and you can come back and look at this pic whenever you want. Well, that’s my take on it, anyway.

Oh, and how can you not like the sight of two patriotic boys who proudly sport their Marine shirts whenever they get the chance?