Braving Boys

Photo: JSmith Photo, Flickr

My boys can be very dramatic at home. Joey just told me yesterday, “It’s not so fun to clean the boat, mom. I’d rather spray sunscreen right in my eyes!” For those who know just how much he hates sunscreen, this is a pretty powerful statement. Is it safe to assume, then, (given the flair for exaggeration) that Joey and Danny might shine bright in drama camp?

I think so.

And that’s why I signed them up for a one-week, all-day theater experience. The director of things told me that lots of kids are dramatic at home. It’s because they are comfortable. The key is making them just as secure on stage. So that’s my wish for this week: that my boys find drama just as fun while standing before an audience as they do performing in private quarters.

Today was Day No. 1 of Drama & Musical Theatre, and it seems all went well. Joey is now channeling Fabian, Danny is Troy, and they both will practice lines all week for a performance on Friday evening. They’ll also sing and dance. I can’t wait to witness it all, especially after Joey’s reaction as we pulled up to camp this morning:

On the outside of the gymnasium where we checked in was a sign that read, “Welcome to The Hall.” The school is called Oak Hall, so this makes sense. But Joey put his own spin on things: “Welcome to Hell,” he announced, hesitant to attend this week’s festivities.

Hell, it was not. Danny’s first-uttered words at pick-up were, “Mom, I liked it!” And Joey already has several of his lines committed to memory: “Yeah, I’m nervous too! Even my teeth are sweating!” and “Hey, Duke! It must be hard finding shoes that fit those two left feet!” He delivers his words with emotion and enthusiasm, and he hasn’t once complained about a trip back to “The Hall” tomorrow.

And so.

The show goes on.

I had the pleasure of turning 40 on June 20 (really, it’s a pleasure, because it means I’ve lived for five years after breast cancer).

And I’m not in the least bit disappointed that the package I opened from Joey contained something I’d already owned for several years. Nope. I found it entirely sweet that my 9-year-old boy wrapped up all by himself my little pink laptop and power cord and had the present waiting for me on the kitchen table the morning of my big day.

Even better, though, was the card he made.

“Happy Birthday, Mom, I love you,” he wrote. Then he described me, in list form:

nice
funny
awsome
sweet
beautiful
good
good at everything
smart
helps a lot
is very cute
has a good attitude
healthy
skinny
not fat
awsome at losing pounds
a good person
good at her job
greatful

Laptops, yea, they come and go (and maybe come again!), but cards like this one, well, they have real staying power.

Thank you, Joey. I love you, too!

Summer 2010

Someone asked me the other day how my summer is going, and I responded that’s it’s going great, because most times, it’s pretty darn swell. We stay up late, sleep late, and we’re dabbling in piano, tumbling, and drama. We’ve been to the beach, the pool, a few lakes, a movie, and we’re headed for football season come August 1. What’s not to like about a flex schedule, plus all sorts of fun stuff? OK, so my boys don’t love my mandatory reading and writing, but it’s not that much, really, and I think they might even secretly like it.

So, yea, summer is going great. But it’s not entirely peachy and, so, it seems only fair that I confess another truth about these 70 unstructured no-school days:

My kids are making me crazy!

Here, my friends, is what is driving this momma mad:

Stop it, Joey! Stop it, Danny! Stop it, Joey! Stop it, Danny! All day long.

Can we get a toy? Can we get a toy? Can we get a toy? Buckets of cars, trucks, Lego, action figures, Webkinz and more are stuffed into our playroom and boy bedrooms, but there is apparently still a burning desire for one. more. Ben. 10. Guy.

Do I hafta? Do I hafta? Do I hafta? Do I hafta go to the pool? Do I hafta ride my bike? Do I hafta go outside? Aren’t kids supposed to like this stuff?

Just a little bit longer! Just a little bit longer! Just a little bit longer! Just one more TV show, one more Wii challenge, one more computer game. Who exactly bought all this electronic gear, anyway?

Then there’s the whole issue of listening. Sometimes, they do it. Most days, is seems, they don’t.

At risk of sounding like a whiner, I’ll stop there. And I’ll morph this post into something positive.

Yesterday, I asked my Facebook friends for a little insight. I wrote in my status update:

Why is it that my kids can be so perfectly behaved for other people but so rotten for me?

Sixteen comments came spilling in, several of them claiming “love” as the answer.

Huh?

Yes, love. The general idea is this:

You’re “safe” Jacki; they know that you will love and forgive them no matter what! Other people — they’re not so sure, so they are going to behave the way you’ve taught them to. / Melissa

What perspective, and just what I needed. Now, I’m not saying they won’t still push my buttons, and I won’t ever yell so loud I give myself a headache, but I really think this is going to help me. When they behave for others, I’ll know they really are listening to all I’ve taught them. When they misbehave for me, I’ll know my unconditional love for them is what allows them to display the raw and uncut versions of themselves. It’s no different, really, from how we all act — a little better in pubic than in private.

OK, this may sound a bit strange, but thank you, Joey and Danny, for your misbehavior. I had no idea how well I was loving you. And now that I know, I think our summer days might get a little bit better.

And no, I’m not buying another toy!