Archive for the ‘growing-up’ Category

Boys and Bike Week

Monday, March 8th, 2010
Bike Week 2010, Daytona Beach, Fla.

Bike Week 2010, Daytona Beach, Fla.

Among all of the duties we have as parents, exposing our boys to all sorts of stuff is a priority. That’s why we took them to Bike Week 2010 on Saturday. Danny’s had some “I love motorcycle” moments in his life (one Christmas, all he wanted was a toy dirt bike, and he always picks motorcycle racing when he games at my sister’s house), and Joey is usually up for anything car, boat or bike-related.

Now, don’t get me wrong — I really prefer that my guys don’t ride motorcycles at all, ever. Still, I thought the Daytona Beach event would be exciting. And for moments, it was (The Naked Cowboy and monster-sized snake were hits).

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The Naked Cowboy and The Snake Guy

But Danny mostly moped, claiming his legs were too tired to walk up and down Main St., and Joey, well, he just wanted to get to the water to throw his cast net. And when I asked them both at the end of our maybe hour-long tour of this 69th annual extravaganza if they could see themselves as bikers when they grow up, the response was an overwhelming NO. And so we headed to a favorite fishing spot in Ormond Beach, where Joey and John dabbled at the shore and Danny sat with me in the car, playing his Nintendo DS. The game?

Yamaha Supercross.

Boy Stuff

Friday, January 29th, 2010

Boy stuff keeps me so busy that I often don’t find the time to write about it. But I want to, and I need to, because one day, these beautiful monsters of mine will be all grown up, and there’s no way I’m going to remember all the cute little stories if I don’t jot them down. Here are a few:

Danny

Danny

Danny, 6 years old, finally lost a tooth on December 30. We were at Busch Gardens, eating lunch, when John tugged it out. It was hanging by a thread, we told Danny, and that’s why it needed to come out. He’d been very patient for weeks, letting that tooth linger in its assigned space. Big bro Joe would have yanked that thing from his own mouth the minute he noticed it jiggling even a tad bit. Not Danny, who is now monitoring another loose one. Yesterday, he came out of school and asked me, “Mom, is this hanging by a thread?” I checked and told him it was not. “Then how many threads does it have?” he said. We talked about threads, and figures of speech, and now we await the loss of pearly white No. 2. I predict it comes out, oh, sometime around mid-February. Joey happened to have a barely wiggly one after school yesterday, too. It was out by 5 PM.

Mom and Joey: Same-size feet

Mom and Joey: Same-size feet

Joey is tall. Really tall. He just turned 9 on January 3, and he’s a half-inch away from measuring 5 feet. He’s almost as tall as his Nanny, his feet are nearly bigger than mine, and the mom of the short boy he guarded during his last basketball game was not at all happy about the pairing. About his height, Joey said recently: “I don’t always like being tall.” I asked him why, and he told me people at school think he has had to repeat a grade. “Has anyone ever told you that?” I asked. “No,” he replied. “But still.” Yea, I gotcha, Joe. And that’s exactly why the kid must pass his FCAT test in March, because if he doesn’t, he must do third grade all over again, and there’s just no way he can actually repeat a grade. That would just look downright silly.

We think Danny has a photographic memory — the kid can recite parts of a nutritional label in a nutty accurate way. Sugar and protein are his favorites. Name a food or drink (mustard, ketchup, ground turkey, milk), and he’ll spit back spot-on numbers. The other day, I told each boy they could pick out a frozen treat at the grocery store. Danny picked Scribblers popsicles (no protein, 6 grams of sugar), and Joey grabbed for a package of Klondikes, which didn’t escape Danny’s glance. “Those are loaded with sugar,” he shouted at his brother. Sure enough — 23 grams of the stuff in each square of chocolate-covered goodness. Joey didn’t care, he picked them anyway, and we’re OK with that. I mean, we don’t eat too much junk at our house, so we figure it’s OK to enjoy an occasional treat.

Somehow, we got to talking a few days ago about behavior (the boys like to report on who was good and bad in school each day), and I told them that everyone has good qualities. No one is entirely bad. That’s when Joey said, “I don’t always do the right thing. But I always try my best.” I don’t think I can really ask for anything more. And that’s what I told him — just before I picked boogers off his bedroom wall.

Stay tuned. More to come.

Sleepover Boy

Monday, December 28th, 2009
Growing-up boy

Joey, pre-sleepover

Surviving Joey’s first sleepover might have been harder for me than making it through his very day of school. Something about the overnight thing was really tough. I mean, I dropped him off last night at a friend’s “Guys Gathering” at 5:00 PM, and I didn’t see my 8-year-old boy again until 10:30 AM today, which means I was totally unable to monitor whatever it was he did for all those hours. I know he ate dinner, went to a movie, gobbled down cake, played on a tire swing — but how did he handle himself, was he happy the whole time, did he feel homesick at all? He reports that it was a blast, and he appears to have no complaints at all. He’d do it again, in fact, and he’d like to host his own party one day. The question is: Can I survive that, too?

Boy Dreams

Monday, December 21st, 2009
www.fordvehicles.com

www.fordvehicles.com

Joey wants a Ford truck. A big one. Specifically, he’s got his eyes on a F350, crew cab, diesel, 4X4, dually, black, with a big silver thing on the front and well-equipped for pulling a pretty large boat. Why? I think it has something to do with the truck (and boat) his uncle got. But Joey doesn’t just want the F150 Uncle Jim has sitting in his driveway. Nope, he’s ramped things way up, ensuring that his prize will cost him an arm and a leg, plus a few other body parts. But that’s OK. He’s 8, and dreaming should be a part of every kid’s world.

www.fordvehicles.com

www.fordvehicles.com

Six-year-old Danny is a dreamer, too. He sees in his future a brand new Mustang GT500. I know where this wish comes from — Dad is a huge Mustang fan. A 1970 was his very first car (bought with his very own money), and together, we had a 1998 GT, which we traded for a mini-van two months before Joey was born (that was a sad day: not the day Joey arrived, the day we said farewell to the car). Thanks to Uncle Jim, we have a Mustang again — the one he sold us to make room for the truck and the boat. It’s also a 1998, and while Danny does love it, he yearns for the Shelby.

We sure hope Joey and Danny can score the wheels they want when they grow up. In the meantime, we keep telling them what it will take to acquire the keys to their dream machines: good grades, good college educations, good jobs, a good amount of savings. Even then, it might be a stretch. But we won’t burst their bubbles just yet. Because who knows, if they have just the right amount of drive for just the right amount of time, they might get exactly what they want. And nothing would make us happier than sitting shotgun with our grown-up guys in their grown-up rides. Well, maybe we’d be pretty happy if they got us a dream car, too. We’ll take anything — except a mini-van.

How to Raise Better Boys (Girls, Too)

Wednesday, December 16th, 2009
Crazy boys, with crazy cousins

Crazy boys, with crazy cousins

Two experts on the TODAY Show recently shared that most parents, when surveyed, say what they want most out of life is to raise healthy kids. And when 6,400 moms and dads were interviewed in one study, the following six practices emerged as key for raising better kids. Embrace each one, and your own offspring will be better behaved and less likely to engage in risky behaviors.

  1. Have dinner with your kids at least five times per week. This is what matters most, not your work, not the stuff you’re buying, but actually sitting down and paying attention to your children. It’s not the food that matters, it’s the connection and strength of the family that comes from dining as a group. If you just can’t make it happen because you’re working two jobs to make ends meet, gather at an off time and have a snack together.
  2. Take your kids to church or synagogue weekly. This will teach them that there’s something bigger out there, and they’ll learn a solid sense of respect.
  3. Check your kids’ homework nightly. Intellectual development is just as import as physical development. The more you monitor, the better.
  4. Demand the truth, and get it. Earn trust by becoming a hands-on and involved parent.
  5. Take kids on vacation for at least a week at at time once per year. Leave your Blackberry at home.
  6. Get your kids involved in team sports, but be careful. Research shows that some sports may increase incidences of drinking, smoking and violent behavior.

Numbers Boy

Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
Danny

Danny

Danny is obsessed with numbers lately. Ages are big — “Mom, how old were you when I was 2?” he might ask. Or “Dad, how old will you be when I’m 19?” We’re trying to teach him that I’m 33 years older than him and that John is 35 years older. That way, he can answer his own questions. It’ll take some time, though — he’s only 6, after all.

The numbers on nutritional labels are another story — he’s way more interested in them, and he can pretty much compare, contrast and make important decisions all by himself. Case in point: Yesterday.

Danny came out of school yesterday afternoon and announced that he chose white milk instead of chocolate milk at lunch. “That’s great,” I told him. “White milk is healthier.” He agreed, schooling me on the fact that chocolate milk has 25 grams of sugar and 8 grams of protein, while white milk has 10 grams of sugar and 8 grams of protein. And that’s why he chose white over chocolate — it’s healthier.

I did a little fact checking just now, and sure enough, Danny was pretty right on. Check out chocolate milk here at The Daily Plate. And white milk here. The guy knows his stuff. And if he keeps making solid choices like the one he made today, I’m thinking he’ll live a long and healthy life.

And if he makes it to, say, 85, how old will I be?

Uugh.

Normal Boy

Monday, November 23rd, 2009
danny-boat-400jd112409

Nothing but normal

I’m pretty sure my boys are normal — on most days. Then there are times when I am convinced they are way off kilter and need massive therapy. I mean, is it OK for a 6-year-old boy to pinch another child at school, pull his brother’s hair in the car and cry buckets of tears when he loses at family game night? Friends swear it’s right on target, and an assistant principal tells me it’s what first-grade boys do. But when this “hypothetical” boy has never before pinched, pulled hair or broken down so easily — not even as a toddler — it strikes me that something might be wrong, that something is luring him back into little-kid land.

“Six-year-olds have a firm foot planted in toddlerhood,” a child psychologist once told me. I need to remember that. I also need to keep checking in with research about ages and stages of development, because it’s terrifically reassuring. One quick Google search, and I learned that “Six” is growing more independent, yet feeling less secure, he craves affection from parents and teachers, can be unkind to peers, needs to win and has no problem blatantly cheating or changing the rules, can be hurt by criticism, and BINGO: 6-year-old kids often cry easily.

That’s my boy, who happens to be quite fidgety, too (also characteristic of the age) and, much to my relief …

Normal.

Boy Shoes

Thursday, October 8th, 2009

Sometimes I think Joey and Danny like sports because of the gear they get to collect. I mean, a boy’s got to have the right shoes for basketball, right? And since my guys are all signed up and slated to begin practice on November 30, we doled out a small fortune on the coolest high-tops today. The boys love their new kicks, and Danny is pretty sure his sneakers are producing a better jump already.

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Momma feet in little-boy shoes

And I’m pretty sure Danny’s big brother is going to outgrow me any day now. These new shoes (I sprung for everyday footwear, too) — modeled by me — show just how similar we are in size. And that just plain scares me, because Joey is 8, and I’m the mom, and I want to be the one with bigger feet at least until, like, the third grade is over.

Boys and Boobies

Tuesday, September 15th, 2009

“Mom, have you ever noticed that some girls push their boobies way up high?” Joey asked out of the blue the other day. “Yes, I’ve noticed,” I told him, realizing ‘boobies’ might be a tad too juvenile for an 8-year-old boy. So I asked him, “Do you know what the actual word for ‘boobies’ is?”

“Pupils?” he responded in a question kind of statement. “You’re thinking of nipples,” I told him, then explained the difference. “They’re called breasts,” I said, “like I had breast cancer.”

“Oh, yea!” said Joey, who went on to inquire (already forgetting the proper word): “Why do some girls like their boobies so big?” I explained that some people just like them big, and some don’t. He asked for my preference, and I revealed that I don’t happen to like them big. In fact, I had mine reduced, I shared, because they were too big, and they bothered me.

End of boobie story. We moved on to Mustangs and how GTs are better than 6-cylinders.

Boobie talk resumed tonight, when Joey said to John, “Dad, did you know mom had her boobies defrosted?” This from the boy who thought not long ago that his testicles were tentacles and still can’t quite figure out how babies get in the stomach. Maybe ‘boobies’ is not so juvenile after all. He is only 8. Plenty of time to clue him in. There is plenty of time, right?

Mismatched Boy

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009
danny-mismatched-225jd09010

Fashion statement, by Danny

Being a perfectionist is sort of a stressful way to go through life. I know. I am one. But I try not to impose my structured, orderly, list-making ways on my boys, because, really, I’d much prefer it if they cruise through life never describing themselves as Type As. So far, it seems Danny has not inherited my personality (evidence in photo to the right).

Never, never, ever would I dress myself in red, white and blue plaid shorts, orange shirt adorned with giant scorpion and black shoes and socks. Nor would I choose to dress my child in such a get-up. But it’s not up to me. Joey and Danny get to make their own fashion calls (well, within reason, they must cover all their parts and wear a shirt over their wife beaters). I figure they need control over some areas of their lives, and since we make them eat our chosen meals, enforce early bedtimes, limit TV time and junk food and force them to do homework, it seems only fair they get to set their own dress codes.

It’s not easy (for me) letting my guys walk out the door all mismatched, but when Danny happily tells me he picks black socks because they “look like Daddy’s work socks,” and I see Joey confidently strut through the house with his vertical stripes paired with horizontal ones, I realize this is not a battle worth fighting. Picking out their daily costumes makes them happy. And really, I can’t argue with that.

Plus, I need to save my energy for the battles that are worth fighting. I’ve got two on my list already: Piercings and tattoos.