” … Greenhorn couldn’t handle this,” is what I heard my OB say as he was attempting to deliver the six-day-late baby who kept “turtling” and would not emerge from my body.

“Who is Dr. Greenhorn?,” I kept thinking.

OK, OK, now I know he meant not a specific doctor, just an inexperienced one, and I think he was probably right, because it was kinda complicated pushing into the world that 10-pound, 9-ounce boy and his Superman-like placenta cape. But he arrived, he was healthy, and that was 11 years ago! Happy Birthday to my now 114-pound Joey!

.Thanksgiving 2011.

Don’t commit this photo to memory. It will probably surface again as our Christmas pic.

What do you do with 120 kids, a bunch of luggage, and two jam-packed school buses? You head straight to Camp Crystal! I just spent two nights and three days at this camp, and I definitely have three favorite activities from my experience.

Free time! Free time was the activity that gave me the most joy. Just staring around with loads of stuff to do, I usually picked Four Square. Four Square is a game of agility and skill, of which I have plenty. One time, I jumped on a square and the next thing I knew, I was the king. I was getting everyone out until that one person came along who was unbeatable. I was out like a flash. I also played volleyball during free time. Even though I wasn’t very good, I tried anyway. It wasn’t that hard until the ball came flying my way and when I hit it, it just slugged into the net. Once, the ball came zipping my way, and I knocked it right over the net. It soared all the way until it smashed into the sand. One point Joey’s side! I was so exited, and I realized that probably wouldn’t happen again. Those are the two great events about free time.

Today is the day for fishing! Fishing is my passion, and Camp Crystal rocked because I got to fish. After I got my supplies, I started. First, I would dig a net into the mud. Then, I would search for wildlife. One time, I caught a water bug with my bare hands! I had seen it move in the water, and I was all over it. I gently put the bug in the water bucket and watched it. Another cool devise I used was a microscope. I used it to look closely at wildlife. One time, I put a baby shrimp under the microscope and looked closely at it. It was like a ball, and it didn’t move. I found out it was just an egg. We let all of the bugs and creatures go and put away all our working utensils. Fishing rules, and Camp Crystal and its lakes are awesome.

Light it up! Another reason why Camp Crystal was so super was we got to have a campfire. We even got to make s’mores! One time, I gave my s’more a nice brown toast, slapped it on my cracker, and gobbled it down. It tasted like heaven. Also, the campfire gave me the chance to just sit down and talk to my friends with the fire blaze on my back. Once, we were talking to each other and telling really funny jokes. We laughed all night long. The fire added another terrific touch to my camp adventure.

Camp Crystal, almost there! Three exiting adventures I enjoyed were free time, fishing, and the campfire. I’m definitely going back in the summer!

Want more? Check out this 4th grade essay.

And Danny writes, too — 2nd grade essay.

The glasses are plastic, and they serve absolutely no function, but Danny loves them, and, so, we have grand plans for building a Halloween costume around them! Stay tuned.

Blue crab was the catch of the day, and the 10-year-old fisherboy was happy. What a relief. I thought he might be disappointed since he’s been catching whopper Reds the past few weeks, but the guy was OK with the 17 beauties he brought home. Might have had something to do with the new crab trap he took on the trip (even though he hooked most with his fishing pole) or the fact that a friend who shared the waters this afternoon donated all of his crabs to our family cooler.

It could have been the overall winning spirit that ended the day. Today was the Suwannee River Take a Kid Fishing Tournament, you see, and along with a bucket full of Blues, Joey scored a trophy, some McDonalds gift dollars (this alone is enough to perk the boy right up), an oyster knife, some artificial bait, bug spray, even a red Coleman cooler.

Mostly, it was probably just the fishing that did the trick — not the trap, the crabs, the goodies and the gear. He really only wants some water, a pole, and a day with Dad, all of which he got today. It’s what makes him truly happy. And yea, the big scores don’t hurt either.

Last night, we had a boy bash — an end-of-summer, back-to-school sorta celebration. It was a blast, and if you want to whip one up, we suggest this recipe (adapt as you wish):

• 1 backyard
• 1 basketball court
• bunches of basketballs
• 1 tree swing
• 1 pull-up bar
• 1 roaring fire
• 1 dad to supervise fire (and simultaneously referee basketball games)
• lots of roasting sticks (store-bought or plucked from the yard)
• 1 box graham crackers (pre-divided into manageable parts, if time permits)
• 2 packages 6-pack Hershey’s chocolate (pre-divided, if time permits)
• 1 package marshmallows
• 1 watermelon, cut into small triangle pieces
• 1 cooler, filled with drinks and ice (and quick access to a bathroom)
• 1 electronic device to play boy-chosen playlist
• a few headlamps and flashlights
• 1 container wet wipes
• 1 trash can
• 10 boys
• a few parents sprinkled here and there

Supply all ingredients and allow boys to mix as appropriate.

Let simmer for 2.5 hours, allow to get dark, and only interfere if comes to a boil.

Intended end result: high level of activity, loads of laughter, sweaty shirts and heads, and begging and pleading to the tune of, “But I don’t waaaaaant to go home!”

We’re loving late nights and really late mornings this summer. Just ask Joey, who is dozing more than anyone in our family. It’s like he’s a teenager, waking only when I  open his window blinds and coax him into opening his oh-s0-tired eyes. But he’s not even on the edge of the teens, in fact, he has his 10-year-old check-up tomorrow, where we’ll learn that he’s more the size of 12 than 10 at his nearly 5 feet 3 inches and 108 pounds and that he’s not stopped growing since he was born. Not even one stalled moment. He was 10 pounds, 9 ounces at birth; 22 pounds at 6 months; 40 pounds at 3 years; and 80 pounds at 8. (Brother Danny is currently 62 pounds at 8 years old.)

The boy does everything big — he grows big, complains big, fishes big, and now, he sleeps big. Normal, I think. But we’ll be confirm with his doc in the morning. Just be be sure.

UPDATE: OK, so he’s more the size of 13 than 12, and the sleeping is just fine, as long as he doesn’t have trouble rising early if necessary (like on school days), which he doesn’t.