Boys Who Blame
25 Mar
Photo: Kristi Anastasi Collins
Six and nine. Must be just the right ages for assigning blame — at least in our house. And while the 6-year-old guy does his fair share of shifting fault, I must say that the 9-year-old has the skill down pat. He should, he’s been practicing it for years. It goes something like this:
Parents: “Joey, why did you trip your brother?”
Joey: “I didn’t.”
Parents: “Yes, you did.”
Joey: “No, I didn’t.”
Parents: “We saw you do it!”
Joey: “I. did. not. trip. him.”
And he’ll stand his ground until the bitter end (even though we saw it!), which often leaves us dumbfounded and praying this trait is soon extinguished and replaced with the honestly we preach every chance we get.
We tell our boys they’ll always be in less trouble for being honest (even if it reveals poor choices) than if we learn they are lying. Will they catch on, jump on board and evolve into the truth-telling boys we know they can be?
Probably.
It’s perfectly normal for school-age kids to cover up and duck out of taking responsibility, say some exerts for Parents.com. It usually happens when they know Mom and Dad would disapprove of something they did, and since they are not great at anticipating consequences, admitting wrong-doing can be overwhelming. The bottom line: for our kiddos, understanding rules and consequences is still a developmental work in progress.
Gosh, this makes me feel so much better. I was starting to wonder where this tendency was coming from.
Because.
Well.
I knew it couldn’t be my fault.
